Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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