i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
