UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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