Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
