When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
