Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
