My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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