I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
