A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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