if you like me you must not know who I am
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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