He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
