Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Farmville is her only friend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
