I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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