Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
