Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
