girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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