mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He is an equal opportunity slut.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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