You can't motorboat a personality
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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