Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
