Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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