I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
