Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
