Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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