i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
