I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Shame - the story of my life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
