My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
