Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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