Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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