Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
