In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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