The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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