Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize