I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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