I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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