Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
