Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
