Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
