I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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