hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
