Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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