Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
