well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
