Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
