She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
