So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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