I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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