i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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