he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
