Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
