It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
