I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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